No awkward lesbian experiences without me
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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