I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
the day after is always just damage control
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
