i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
