YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
