the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
