Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
