You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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