I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
