Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
