Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
