i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize