I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
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