my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Randomize