I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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