I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
my poor anus
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
