You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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