Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
