No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
