didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Randomize
