OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Randomize
