Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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