we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
