The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
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