Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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