Sry I called you an 8
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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