Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize