How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
