I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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