i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Randomize
