that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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