I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
