just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
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