hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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