ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
