Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Randomize
