Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
