Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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