I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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