She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
