So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
