I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
