What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
