Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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