She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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