I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
