The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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