toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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