The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Four minutes until I can fart!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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