Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
