Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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