You're a womanizer and a bitch.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Come see our sink grown plant.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
