Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize