He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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