he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
It was confusing and full of hummus
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
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