Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
