don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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