it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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