im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
