READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
