FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
