i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I understand Curling. That high.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
