VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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